Draco Malfoy's Journal
by Kurenai-chanRogue 3
Summary: read the title. now you know
1. Default Chapter Title

Title: Draco Malfoy's Journal

Disclaimer: Draco-tachi belong to J.K. Rowling. Celestina-tachi belong to me.

A/N: Well, this isn't _really_ a journal. I just felt like writing it. For fun. I'll probably take it down within a few days and start writing clichés. Comprende? :D This sucks anyhow…

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Isn't it simply _wonderful_ how life just throws things at you and takes them away in a single _snap_? That is what happened to me. I was given the most wonderful present one could ever want. And then it was taken away. At the age of forty-five, I have begun to forget the things that had happened to me. Some, I no longer remember. So as to keep my memories alive, I may as well read my journal. My name is Draco Malfoy. This is my story.

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I can't quite remember what had happened that day. I was three, and my parents had taken me to a funeral…

It was raining, and the sky was gray. My mother was holding my hand, and pulling me into the car. We were all dressed in black. I stared up at my mother's sad face, and asked her what was wrong. She sighed, and told me that her best friend had died, and that we were going to the funeral. Earlier that day, my mother had been ordering the house servants around, making them fix up one of our spare rooms. In a matter of minutes, the walls had been wallpapered in light lavender, and the once-empty space had been transformed into a girl's bedroom. I didn't understand what was going on. Why were they setting up? As far as I was concerned, I had no siblings and had no desire to have any. I didn't ask about that either. 

Once at wherever the funeral had been held, I sat impatiently, wondering why I had to be here. There were no children, or so I had thought. A few minutes before the funeral began, a girl just about my age came into the room. My mother stood up. Why should she stand up? She pulled my hand and told me to follow her. I obeyed. It was better than sitting down there, having nothing to do. My mother, Natalia Malfoy, led me to the girl. It shocked me to see that she was crying. She didn't notice us at all, because she was busy staring at the open coffin. I hadn't noticed the beautiful woman inside. She had long black hair, and a pale, pale pointed face. She could have been one of my father's cousins, if she had had the same silvery blonde hair. I focused on the girl. She had the same black hair, the same face. When I looked closely, I saw that she had cold ice-blue eyes. She glanced up at my mother. "Hello, Aunt Natalia. I'm happy to see you," she said quietly. Perhaps she was my cousin after all. Mother smiled down at her. "Celestina, dear, why don't you come sit with us? I presume you've been informed that you will be living with us from now on?" she asked. Celestina nodded, and my mother took her hand. I hadn't been introduced, for which, I'd been thankful. I didn't know what to say. _Sorry_, perhaps? She was obviously the dead woman's daughter. We sat again, and I unconsciously tried to kick at the ground. A small voice spoke to me. "Who are you?" she asked. I looked at her. "My name is Draco Salazar Malfoy. Who are _you_?" I asked. Her cold eyes stared into my own gray ones. "Celestina Marie Wallace," she replied. There was a long and uncomfortable silence that followed the introduction. No more words had been said.

Once we were at home, I watched the servants carry Celestina's things. There were quite a lot of them. I could see that she almost smiled when she saw her room full of toys and girl things. It was sad to see her so unhappy, but then again, I suppose I would have been the same if _my_ mum had died.

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Celestina wasn't always so sad. At times, she would laugh, smile, run around, and do the things three-year-olds do. She seemed far older than she truly was. It made me feel immature. Maybe I was a bit more mature than I was supposed to be, too. I just didn't know it. We eventually became good friends. By the time we were seven, we had evolved from being just friends, to becoming best friends. You can say that we were inseparable. After a while, that changed.

Her elbows were propped on my bed. "It's getting incredibly boring. For once, I'm actually excited to go back to school," she said. I rolled my eyes. "Figures Ms. Teacher's Pet would want to go back to school. You've probably broken all records for "Highest Marks". When do you plan to stop studying?" I asked her. "Just because _you_ don't study doesn't mean that _I_ don't have to. Draco, I won't be there for you to cheat off of when you go back to Hogwarts," she reminded. I gave an expression of disgust. "I'm doomed," I said. She laughed. "Don't worry, if you're in a fix, just write, and I'll come and save you." I grinned at her. "Aren't _I _supposed to be the one saving _you_? Not the other way around," I reminded her. She fixed her freezing stare on me. "And how, pray tell, are you supposed to save me?" she challenged. I sighed. I had no answer. "I dunno. Maybe I'll find out some other day. But for now, how about we go bully Father into taking us to Diagon Alley? I saw a really good racing broom there last time we went. It's a shame that they don't have Quidditch at the school you're going to," I said. She sneered the sneer that only the Malfoys seemed to have perfected. "As if Quidditch's as important as the examinations and other stuff. And we don't have school houses anyway, not like Hogwarts." She paused for a moment, and I knew that she was feeling bad about having to go to a different school. "Look," I said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "If you really hate your school, we can ask my mum to transfer you. It's not like it's the end of the world if you drop out of Rosewood School for Witches. In fact, the only reason you're studying there is because your mum and my mum went there before. Stupid sentimental crap keeping you away from me…" I mumbled scornfully. My only "friends" at Hogwarts were two huge dunderheads named Crabbe and Goyle. I seemed to have made more enemies than friends at my school. Like that Perfect Potter and that pauper Weasel, and their little Mudblood friend, Granger. Sure, Granger was somewhat like Celestina, she got the same perfect marks. But she was just too…_different_. Someone was shaking my arm. "Hey, Draco, what's the matter? You seem so troubled. Or at least much more serious than usual. What's percolating in your head?" she asked him. He returned her glance. "Nothing. Just busy thinking about Potty, Weasel, and the Mudblood. Same as always. Potter'll trounce me in Quidditch, Weasley will find a way to cause trouble, and he'll probably beat me up some way, and Granger will beat me in every exam so that Father will get mad at me. Plus, Flint will yell my head off for losing the Snitch again. Like I said, same as always," I answered. She smiled up at me. Mind you, Celestina Wallace was anything but short. At her five-foot-seven height, she was almost as tall as I was. And to think that we were only thirteen.

I hooked my arm through hers, and we went off to look for Father.

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"Sixty points from Gryffindor, Weasley. Be thankful it isn't more. Think, next time, before you insult me," Snape said menacingly. I was grinning inwardly. That Mudblood Granger looked so shocked that they lost so many points in one go. I couldn't wait 'till class was over, so I could go write to Celestina. Finally the Gryffindors were paying. Revenge for when they ruined my potion and lost five points from Slytherin. 

Dearest Celesti,

I miss you a lot. It's annoying that you can't be here to wreak havoc with me. Well, since you asked, yes, Weasley's finally gotten what he deserves, and I didn't even have to do anything to make him get it. He accidentally insulted Professor Snape aloud, and Snape took sixty points off of Gryffindor, plus, he gave Weasley detention, too! You should have seen Granger's face! Hahaha! She was so horrified! It was beautiful! I have to get to the Owlry before I'm late to Transfiguration. Please reply as soon as possible. Are those snobs in your school still bothering you?

Love always,

Draco

I dashed to the Owlry as quickly as I could, and found my snowy owl, Isis. After attaching the letter to her foot and giving her instructions to deliver it to Celestina, I shoved my way through to the Transfiguration classroom.

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Draco,

Hell, are they making trouble for me? Yes, they are, and yes, I also wish I could be at Hogwarts to wreak havoc with you. Too bad this school's only for girls. It would have been more fun if I had my best friend with me. It's really great that that Weasley riffraff got what he deserved. I noticed that you haven't been hanging out with those idiots Crabbe and Goyle lately. Planning to stick up for yourself from now on? Hahaha! Well, I miss you, too. What I wouldn't give to see you sneer…hahaha! I'd love to be at Hogwarts. Once I get really fed up with those bimbos here, I'll beg Aunt Natalia to let me transfer there. Good enough? I don't think so. As you probably know, I don't get fed up as easily as you do. People say it's a "good trait". More like a bad one. It's keeping me from my best friend.

Oh yes, I know you're fourteen, and I know for a fact that there are _girls_ there…get the picture? Hahaha! You had better tell me when you get yourself a girlfriend! Hey, I have to go. Amalia Jones (you know her. Head of the Snob Squad) is walking past, and she might try reading over my shoulder. By the way, I'll be going to Hogsmeade with the rest of my batch this weekend. Meet you at the Three Broomsticks?

Love, as usual,

Celestina

I smiled at her letter, even though I was quite disgusted about the girlfriend part. As if I'd ever go out with Pansy Parkinson! Yuck!

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That Potter again! He's just getting so annoying. Just today, he "accidentally" bumped into me and made me drop my books, journal including, and almost read my reply to Celestina. So far, no one knows about her except for Crabbe and Goyle, who always forget. My secret was safe. At times, when I didn't know what to write about for an essay, I'd send the topic to her and she's send back an extremely long piece of parchment covered in tiny writing. Voila! Instant essay! She was right. She really _could_ save me when I was in a fix. It was almost Saturday. In a few days, I'd be seeing her again. I was really excited, but hid it under my mask of sarcasm and the like. 

Saturday finally came. I tried my best to ignore Potty and Weasel, and to just keep out of trouble until I found Celestina. I didn't recognize any of the girls in Rosewood uniforms. There happened to be a whole lot of them hanging out at the Three Broomsticks. Some were staring at me. Then I remembered that they were from an all-girl school and didn't see many boys that often. _God!_ Where the _hell_ was Celestina? I heard a soft voice call out my name. 

"Draco! Hey Draco! Draco Malfoy! Is your brain still operational, or did I kill it by helping you cheat?" a voice called out. I quickly turned around. A tall girl was standing there, waving. Yes, same long, black hair, same ice-blue eyes, same pale pointed face, but there was something wrong. "Good God! What the hell happened to you?" I asked. She seemed far taller, but I was still taller than she was. There was _still_ something wrong. I stared at her chest. Now I knew. There was a smack to my head. Celestina was grinning. "Since when is Draco Salazar Malfoy a _pervert_?" she asked. I grinned at her. "You never send me any pictures, you idiot!" I growled at her. She laughed, and pulled me to Zonko's. "You _said_ you wanted to wreak some havoc. This is the best way to do it!" She dragged me off to the Filibuster fireworks and the itching powder. "Malfoy, _when_ will you learn? I thought I taught you the proper way of causing a big mess…you don't have to be mean and sarcastic and all that to accomplish your goal. All you need is a large box of fireworks and a good target!" she instructed. She grabbed several boxes off of the shelves, and paid for them. Once we found a table, she began teaching me the art of mischief making. I honestly thought that this was the Weasley twins' department, but what could I have done? Speaking of the Weasleys, they were sitting in the next booth, and they were listening in on Celestina's lecture. They seemed to be nodding and taking quick glances at each other. There was a loud shuffling of feet behind me. Crabbe and Goyle. "Where were you, Draco? We've been looking for you everywhere!" he said stupidly. "I shot Celestina an apologetic look and told her that I would be back, and left with Crabbe and Goyle.

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Once I'd managed to lose those two dunderheads, it was almost dark, almost time to go. When I returned to our table, I saw the Weasleys and Celestina trading pranks and similar things. They seemed to be fascinated with the ways of trouble making that each other knew. I cleared my throat loudly. The red-haired twins looked up at me, and left, but not before shooting a glance at Celestina that clearly said "Why're you hanging out with _him_?"

I stared at her questioningly, and she shrugged. "I never knew someone else knew more pranks than I did. The teachers only hate me because I cause them so much trouble. They don't care how high my marks are," she said. She tossed me a bag of candy. "Here, I got you these while you were out. Strawberry Explosions. Your favorite, right?" she asked. I nodded, and thanked her. She smiled at me. "I'm still the smartest student at school, even though I'm only a fourth-year. If ever I transfer to Hogwarts, I'd definitely give that Granger Mudblood a run for her money!"

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I was still quite annoyed. Why shouldn't I be? I'm supposed to be spending a day with my best friend, and those two imbeciles ruin everything for me, _plus_ the Weasley twins completely, well, _monopolize_ her…it sort of ruined my day. The only good thing about it was how _horrified_ Potter looked when he saw me having fun with a _girl_. That look on his face was priceless! Even Weasley was taken aback. Granger as well, just that she had this look on her face that said something like "What kind of a freak is that girl? Honestly, _Draco Malfoy_?!"

Well, Celestina wasn't a freak. But there was something wrong with her. There was something that didn't fit. It was as though Celestina weren't herself. And what was that strange feeling I got when I looked at her? Like nausea, or something like that. Maybe I just had a nasty stomachache. Maybe there was something wrong with _me_, too.

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A/N 2: Well, since I'm already sure this _sucked_, I may as well not post it…oops, too late! Heiress--out!


	2. Default Chapter Title

Title: Draco Malfoy's Journal (part II)

Disclaimer: Draco-tachi belong to J.K. Rowling. Celestina-tachi belong to me. 

A/N: On to the fic. There are some parts here from Celestina's point of view, okay? They're the different font that's not a letter…and it's been a year since the Hogsmeade visit (the end of the last chapter). I just felt like a big time gap. Sorry. I couldn't work this story around GoF, so I had to give it a major shove forward. 

Did the picture turn out right? I guess not…how the _hell_ do you get the pictures there anyhow? I saw Gypsy's fic, and there was a cute picture of a violet rose or something like that on it. It was moving, too…whatever. Here's the fic!

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Strange, isn't it, how friends change so quickly? One second, it's like they're practically your brother, and then the next…I don't know. Maybe it's just me. It probably is. Well, like that snob Amalia always says, "You're a freak, Celestina!" Sure I am! Draco always told me that my being weird was what made me such a great friend anyway. What friend? I'm not a friend to anyone here except for Headmistress Maynard. I always call her, Mary Anne. She tells me to. Is it strange for a school to have a thirty-year-old headmistress when all the other teachers are above forty? Perhaps. If it weren't for Mary Anne, I'd have flunked out of every class I took. You see, the teachers here hate me because I'm more intelligent, better than they are. And they teach the other students here to hate me as well. Others, like Amalia and her friends, didn't _have_ to be taught to hate me. They already did the second they first saw me. It's been a year since the Hogsmeade visit, and I've not had the chance to see Draco in months. Fifth year is wonderful! It's fun to see Amalia and Camilla get _creamed_ during classes.

I've just realized something. Hogwarts is so boring. Well, considering I have no _real_ friends here, then it's not a strange thing. I only have one friend in this world, and she's not even in the same school. I figure it's about time that I get rid of Crabbe and Goyle once and for all. I'm sick of their stupidity.

I'm getting sick of everything. Is it that impossible to believe that I'm getting sick of making fun of Potter, Weasel, and the Mudblood? All I can think about is someone's ice-blue eyes. I told her once that they gave me a chill. Those irises really _were_ cold. They could freeze someone's insides with a single glance. 

I'm having those weird feelings again. I think I desperately need help…but I don't know who to go to. _Never_ Professor Snape. and I can't just ask some girl for help. Not some girl. Just one girl.

Celestina,

I need help. I feel weird. I think I'm getting some strange disease or something of the sort. It's like a constant stomachache. And it just won't go away. What do you think is going on with me?

As always,

Draco

I was laughing. He _obviously _had a crush on some girl. Hopefully it wasn't some Mudblood or half-blood. But then again, the Slytherin girls looked, um, _horrible_. There was a tugging feeling in the back of my mind, and my chest sort of hurt a bit. I quickly scribbled a reply. 

Draco, 

You idiot. You're in love and you didn't tell me! How could you? Well, anyway, who's the lucky girl?

Celestina

Who's the idiot here, eh? And how would _she_ know what falling in love felt like? She told me herself that she'd never fall in love, so she wouldn't know the feeling.

Celestina,

You're the idiot. I should never have asked you. Anyway, how would you know? You said that you'd never fall in love. And you know that I **hate** girls!

Draco

Typical Draco Malfoy. Always in denial about his feelings. It's funny. But I'm scared. I don't want my best friend to fall in love. Weird. I don't have _feelings_ for him. Do I? 

Draco,

Yes, you are in love. You don't _hate_ girls! (I happen to be a girl…ouch…) You're just afraid of the enigmas that steal your heart away once they discover that you have one. (Wasn't that a good line? Mum read it to me once when I was little. It was in some kid book. The title, I forgot) Just say what you feel. As long as it's not a Gryffindor, and it's not a Mudblood or half-blood. The Malfoy family has a reputation to uphold, remember?

Love, always,

Celestina

How can I possibly tell you how I feel? You'd just laugh at me anyway, and say something like "Funny, Malfoy, really funny." You'd just think it was a bad joke of some sort. The way you see everything else that goes on.

I made fun of her once, about her love for poetry. She always carried that book around everywhere. My mother was happy. She said reading and understanding poetry made one more intelligent. I just sneered and said that I thought speaking in rhyme was weird.

She didn't say anything about that, but the next day, the poetry book was nowhere in sight. I suppose I had made her feel bad. Well, we were only six-year-olds then anyway. She doesn't have any other friends either, so I suppose she'd do anything for my approval. She doesn't have to. She'll always have it.

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I hate this forsaken world. Whoever put it here must've created it for fun, to see how long the people would survive. They created criticism, they created pain, they created loneliness, they created all bad things. And all the good. The friend, the family, the Headmistress. They created the gifts. And for some, they created parents. That person must have had a twisted mind of some sort. Was favoritism a part of all of this? Did they choose whom to treat nicely? Who to alienate? Or did they create problems for the strong? Am I strong? Is that why they dropped all the world's burdens on me? Killed my parents, gave me only two true friends, gave me a life full of emptiness? To see if I would come out on top? Or is it just to see how long it takes before I commit suicide? Did they put me here for laughs? Maybe. Did they put Camilla Halliwell and Amalia Jones here to make me suffer? Or were they mistakes, too?

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I wonder what she's doing now? Wondering about the unfairness of the world, as well? About how others are luckier than us, how they gave us pain and suffering instead of happiness and content? 

I'd rather not think of such things at a time like this. And no, I still haven't "dumped" Crabbe and Goyle. I have reasons to keep them for just a bit longer. Even if they make dull companions, well, at least it looks as though I have someone in this school to be with. Father always said that only a Slytherin would do. Never a Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, of Gryffindor. Especially Gryffindor. At times, I envy Potter. Terrific Quidditch skill, two great friends who have more than half a brain, popularity, and even a small fortune all belonging to him. And most of all, he had people who _loved_ him. Well, it's not like my _parents_ don't love me. It's just that sometimes, I feel that they love Celestina more than me. How can there be sibling rivalry between me and someone who isn't even my sibling? Never mind. I will just end up more confused if I continue on wondering.

On what Celestina said. Sure, I love her. She's like my sister, like my twin. My other half. But I don't love her _that_ way. Do I? That isn't even possible. That is a ridiculous idea. So ridiculous that I won't even consider it. Do I, really? 

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(A/N: Okay…insert someone else's POV…From now on, I'll show whose POV it is with a heading…and different font)

Draco Malfoy hasn't called me a Mudblood once this week. There is something wrong with him. Not that I mind, but I, well, sort of _miss_ his taunting. In fact, he's not insulted anyone the entire week. He probably has some sort of disease or something. I didn't mean to, but I found a letter on the floor. It was addressed to him. No, I didn't want to read it. But Ron grabbed it from me and read it aloud.

"Draco,

How is life at Hogwarts? Let me tell you that life here at Rosewood really sucks (yes, American slang, and yes, I'm not going to stop using it). Sucks beyond sucks. I can't tell you how much I'd rather be there at Hogwarts. At last I'd have a friend there, unlike here, where my only friend is the Headmistress of the school. Hey, Christmas is coming closer. You had better come and visit me here at school. I don't know how. Use your broom to get here? Well, no that my school is _that_ far away from yours, you know. For once, I'd like to see Amalia and Camilla green with envy. I've heard that they don't know any boys (hard to imagine…). Really, I don't think so, but that day at Hogsmeade, they asked me who you were and how I knew you. I didn't say anything. I don't talk to them if I don't have to. I don't talk to _anyone_ if I don't have to. You know that. All that everyone at this school gets from me is our signature Malfoy sneer. 

Missing you, as always,

Celestina"

"You mean to tell me that Malfoy has a _girlfriend_?!" Ron told me and Harry. Suddenly I knew why he wasn't insulting us like he usually did. "I saw Fred and George with a pretty girl, if she's the one. They told me about her the other day. She's really nice," Harry said. "Harry, she's a Malfoy. How can a Malfoy possibly be _nice_?"

"She's not a Malfoy, and he's not his girlfriend. More like his 'sister'" Fred interjected, walking up the corridor towards them. "Best friend, you know. He grew up with her. Knows more tricks than we do, that Celestina. Just too bad she has a _thing_ against Gryffindors and Muggle-borns. It runs in the family, I guess."

It was making me very uncomfortable to listen to them talk like this. After all, we weren't supposed to be reading the letter. I'd have returned it to Malfoy straightaway. Besides, he was bound to find out about all of this. We're not supposed to invade his private space and all that.

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Speaking of Malfoy finding out? He did. He wasn't very happy. Not very happy at all…

"Hey, Malfoy! Heard you've got a girlfriend!" Ron called out. His voice rang through the courtyard. All heads turned to look at Draco. A Malfoy and a girl? No one would believe it. Draco looked angry. Ron was waving his letter around in the air. "Lookit what I've got, Malfoy!"

"Give it back. Now," Draco said quietly. His voice held no room for reason. Ron looked frightened. None of us had ever seen Draco Malfoy so serious. I grabbed it from Ron and handed it to Draco. "I'm sorry, Malfoy. I don't know what came over them," I told him. He glared at me with his cold gray eyes and stalked off to the Slytherin dormitories, leaving Crabbe and Goyle behind.

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It was a good thing that they didn't come across my journal. If anyone had read that, I would have died. Yes, it's hard to believe, but there's poetry in it. What kind, I do not wish to tell.

Draco,

Thankfully, they've decided to leave me alone. Maybe because they made me cry and Headmistress Maynard was furious. So furious they all had detention, even the ones who didn't do anything. But once all this has subsided, they'll probably be worse. I'm thinking that this is the right time to transfer schools? If not for all this nostalgia, I'd be there enjoying myself, beating that Granger Mudblood in every exam. Heck, I'd probably try out for the Quidditch team. You know full well that I'm far better than you are at it. I can cause more chaos than you or anyone else can. But unfortunately, I don't think I'll be moving. You remember _last_ time, don't you?

Hell, I remembered last time. The last time we tried to get Mother to allow Celestina to transfer. Father was all for it, but Mum…I wouldn't want to repeat that experience again. Not if you gave me all the wizard money in existence.

Hopefully you'll get this before the upcoming blizzard. Isis will have difficulty bringing your reply, as will Chimera. Write back or else I'll send you a Howler. You know full well that I'm dead serious. I feel tired all the time. I can't concentrate anymore. Do you know what Ursula did to me? Ursula is Amalia's friend. Well, no, you wouldn't know what she did. She put a kind of poison in my drink in retaliation because of the detentions. So now I'm up in the Owlry giving this letter to Chimera. If anyone sees me here, I'm doomed. I'm supposed to be resting in the infirmary, but I can't sleep. Paranoia. well, I have to go. 

Love, as always,

Celestina

I scribbled back a reply and sent it with Chimera, who was still waiting on my windowsill. Dinner was to come soon. Crabbe and Goyle would most probably be at the table already, waiting for the food. Sure, they're brainless gluttons, but they're the only ones who can stand me. I'd spent a few weeks with another clique, but it didn't work out. Too many differences between us. I _had_ to plot a way to make Mother understand! I won't be able to survive another two years (I'm in fifth year, aren't I?) here at Hogwarts without anyone to have a normal conversation with. All you get from Crabbe and Goyle are the words "yes" and "no". I decided to ask Mother again. At least she won't be standing in front of me, ready to scream, when I make my request.

Dear Mother,

I know we've spoken about this topic before, but I just wanted to ask you again. Please, Mother, please let Celestina move here. Must we wait for something horribly bad to happen to her before we take any action? Do you not receive her letters of…you know. I don't want to talk about her condition. I've heard that the Headmistress of her school sent you an owl about her worsening health. She's stopped eating, she hardly sleeps, don't you notice? Well, I hope you're doing fine back home. I'll see you in December, if I don't decide to stay here over the winter holidays.

Love,

Draco

I'm worried about her. I predict that she'll have a nervous breakdown by middle of next month.

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I've received a reply.

Draco,

How many times have we spoken on the subject? I've told you once, I'll tell you again: the answer is no. I hope you're doing well.

Love,

Mother.

No luck.

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The nurse says it wasn't poison. She said it's me. I'm eating too little, I'm not getting enough sleep…do I even sleep? I don't think I do. I've been losing track of time, my thoughts fade away. I can't concentrate in class. There's something deathly wrong with me. When I brush my hair, whole patches of it fall off. I fear I have a strange disease. A Muggle one, cancer, I think. It has the same symptoms. I'm not sure. It can be cured, yes, but by means of Muggle technology. Uncle Lucius and Aunt Narcissa hate Muggle things. I've asked the nurse. There is no wizard equivalent to the cure.

Draco--

I'm dying.

-Celestina

Celestina,

Don't joke around with me. Dying of what? Boredom? What's been going on there lately? I asked Mother. She said no again.

-Draco

Draco,

I'm not joking. It's serious! I'm not even eighty pounds anymore. I don't know what's happening to me. I was perfectly fine last summer. I think I have to go to a Muggle hospital or something to have my sickness diagnosed.

Love,

Celesti

--You're not dying. 

I can't do anything. I know she's serious. It's not just those girls anymore.

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It's finally December. I haven't written in a long time. Things have not changed.

The only different thing is Celestina. I decided to return home to Malfoy Manor for the winter holidays. It was a horrible sight. My parents have resorted to Muggle technology. There are IVs and other strangely named things. She is so pale and weak. Not the usual mischievous girl, bubbling with energy. She is not the same anymore. When she talks to me, it's like she's telling me that she's going to die. Her voice is so soft and it carries a sad tone. She's telling me goodbye. She can't die yet! She was--is my other half. Life isn't complete without her. 

When she's not in bed, she's hunched over her desk writing or sitting in front of her easel. She won't let me see what she's painting. Whatever it is, it's probably very beautiful. She was always the artistic one. She grows weaker by the day, and I don't think she can grow a shade paler. Her eyes are sunken, dark circles surround them. It's growing difficult for her to do anything, and my mother tries to ease her from the canvas. She will not stop. She paints. She says it makes her feel better. She won't eat, and hardly sleeps. The doctors are worried. There is nothing they can do. It isn't cancer, they said. It was a new ailment that no one had ever had. The same one her mother died of long before, when I first met her. No cure. They say she will be dead in less than two months. This will be our last Christmas together.

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It is almost finished, the masterpiece of my life. Speaking of finished things, my life is almost finished, too. Hopefully the painting will be completed before my life. I tell no one about what is painted onto the large canvas. Even Aunt Narcissa has not seen it, and she is the one who is always in my room. It is my goodbye present. I will be dead in weeks, that much I can tell, and this will be my last Christmas. If I even _reach_ Christmas.

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A/N: How I _love_ sad endings.


	3. Default Chapter Title

Title: Draco Malfoy's Journal IIIa

Disclaimer: Read the previous chapter. I am far too tired to type.

A/N: Like I said, I'm far too tired to type.

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Something strange is going on. Celestina is the strange thing. I wrote last week (I'm inconsistent. I can't write every day) that she was getting really sick. The color is returning to her cheeks. Does that mean she's getting better or does it mean that she has a fever? Her headmistress came by today to pay her a visit. Mary Anne Maynard. Very pretty woman she was. Miss Maynard was a nice young lady. It made Celes so happy, just to see her. I suppose Miss Maynard was her only friend there. Curse nostalgia to hell. She'd have been happier at Hogwarts.

Doctors can do nothing to help her condition. She puzzles them. At times, she looks as though she's about to pass into the next world, then just minutes after, she looks perfectly healthy again. This makes me glad, of course, seeing that she looks better, but regardless of what she looks like, her illness is terminal and she _will_ be taken from us. My parents don't know how that makes me feel. My mother has been very upset. She's about to lose the one thing that reminds her of her closest friend in the world. Celes has been with us since she was three. Now, she is fifteen. She's been an adoptive member of the Malfoy family for nearly twelve years. We've all grown used to her being around the house, playing chess with my father and beating him at it, in the conservatory with my mother, painting or playing the piano. With me, simply talking and telling each other about what's been going on. What will life be like without her bubbling laughter? Without her bright smile, which can make life seem so wonderful, even when situations have gone from bad to worse. Who will keep the Malfoys together? She's like the glue that keeps the three of us from going at each other's throats, the ambassador overseeing the peace talks between warring countries. She's my best friend, my sister, my teacher, all rolled into one. No one knows what it's like, to lose someone so important to you. You never actually know how important the person is until a threat has been made to take her away, or until she is gone forever. You say things you don't mean, and once they happen, you regret ever saying them. I'm saying this, because I just remembered a fight we had two years ago. I can't quite remember why we fought. Sibling rivalry, I guess. I was jealous of her relationship with my parents, something I'd never had. We were yelling at each other and I told her that I wished she would go away and never come back. Now I'm getting that wish. The _perfect_ Christmas gift. Ha.

Christmas.

Only two more weeks till Christmas.

Will Celesti have at least _one_ last Christmas? Now I' wishing that she'll have more.

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I spend my free hours in the conservatory, painting my final work. I can't help but think about how things will be once I'm gone. I'm not ego-tripping, I assure you. How will Draco finish his homework on time? Who will play the accompaniment to all the piano pieces Aunt Narcissa and I play? Who will play chess with Uncle Lucius and actually _beat_ him? The little things that don't seem like such a big deal, but are actually some of the most important things. 

Will they miss me? I don't want them to. I want them to continue on the way we always have. 

Two weeks. Two weeks to Christmas. Nothing can be done for this cursed sickness. 

I'm going away. Forever. I'm going away, Draco. Remember? All those years ago? I never told you how painful it was to hear those words from my best friend. One of the only friends I had. When you said it, I wished myself away, too, so that you would be happier. I wished that I would find my father, and that he would take me away from the Malfoy Manor that I loved so much, just so that you would be happy. 

I want you to be happy, Draco Malfoy. Don't mourn for me. Don't chain me to this world. If I pass on, let me. I want you to be happy. Find someone else, someone who'll do you homework and give you a perfect score for it, someone who'll give you advice when you need it. Someone to be there with you, doing absolutely nothing, just staring at the clear blue skies. A new best friend.

I want you to be happy.

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Days pass by so quickly. I wish they wouldn't. Someone up there is conspiring to destroy my life. I hear haunting melodies from the conservatory. Mother. She's resorted to playing deathly themes to make life worse. I guess it lifts some of the pain from our shoulders, to know that someone else was so upset that he or she wrote such a sad song. 

Maybe someday, I'll compose my own. 

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A/N: This was really short, yes. I know. No need to tell me. It's just an in-betweener. The next chapter will be the last. ^-^ I'm a sucker for sad endings, so you can guess how the story's gonna go. Thank you very much for all your kind remarks. Actually, I was thinking of dropping this fanfic, but it's the only one I've ever written, so…^-^ May as well continue it.


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